Moments In Time

There are some memories in my mind that stay there forever, by themselves, not as a part of a scene or as a part of a continuum. They exist alone, with their own right to be, evoking powerful emotions inside me.

I want to write about those moments in time. No particular order. Just numbering them as they come into my mind. Just write about them. Re-live them. Feel what I felt at that moment.

I wonder why humiliation turns me on so much. I often think there must be something wrong with that. However, the fact that there are limits on what I actually enjoy, as well as the fact that I don't take it from anybody except my Master, make me think I am not that sick after all. Maybe I'm only kinky. And I like being kinky.

My Master is quite careful when it comes to play with humiliation. Unlike physical play, emotional play can leave welts and bruises not easy to see and measure. But he has done some pretty hard things with me in that area. And I have to admit I loved each minute of it. I am his slave, and I love to feel that way.

We are in the kitchen. I'm kneeling by his side, naked, my hands cuffed behind my back. He is sitting at the table, dressed, eating a sandwich. He placed another sandwich in front of me on the table, and as he eats he motions me to eat too. I look at him. He is smiling.
"I can't eat" I say, pouting, and struggling with my bounds.
"You can't eat?" He says "Then let me help you" He takes the sandwich and feeds me. I eat with difficulty from his hand, and a crumb of bread falls to the floor. "See what you did!" He shakes his head as I look up at him with anguish. "Clean it up." And then he adds softly: "With your tongue"

I swallow, and hesitate for a brief moment. My pride betrays me when took by surprise. But then I bend over obediently, my hair falling on my face as I try to lick the crumb off the floor. The floor feels cold as I lick. I am blushing as I kneel back up. He keeps eating as if nothing has happened, and then feeds me again. Another crumb falls down, this time on his shoe.
"Clean it up" He says
I bend over for the second time, and stick my tongue out, licking the crumble off his shoe. I am aroused. I am his slave. I want him to rub that on my nose each time he can. It feels so good...

It is dark outside. And cool. I can feel his hand on my arm, steering me as we walk. I am naked, as usual when we are at his house, wearing only my wrist and ankle cuffs, and my collar with the tag that reads: "GRIP'S PET". I feel the roughness of the ground as my bare feet walk along the path, and I shiver slightly, when we stop and he takes the blanket off of me. I try to look at him in the dark. He knows his way around here since this is his backyard.
"Squat" He orders me.
I stay still, not wanting to understand what he means.
"Squat!"
"Wha... What for, Master?" I ask in a whisper.
"You said you wanted to pee." He answers.
I look around, but it is too dark.
"Here?" I ask, with disbelief.
"Yes. Pets don't use the bathroom." He says, and starts to get impatient. "Squat"
The cold air brushes my face, contrasting with the flush I feel on it. I squat slowly, feeling so humiliated that I want to cry.
"Now pee" He says
I close my eyes, and try to let go. I can't. I look up at him, not being able to distinguish his face in the dark. But I am so sure he is watching me.
"I... I can't, Master"
"What do you mean you can't?" He says, his voice starting to sound upset "You said you wanted to pee. Didn't you?"
I take a deep breath, fighting the tears of humiliation welling up in my eyes. I feel so low right now, squatting in front of him, and trying to relieve myself like a bitch. I don't know it yet, because the feeling of humiliation is so overwhelming, but I am as aroused as I can be.

A tear rolls down my cheek in the dark. I can't believe what I am doing. Will he love me less for this? Will he respect me less? With a moan, I finally let go. Tiny drops splashing my feet, and the smell of my own urine reaching me. I am so low, so worthless. And I am so aroused.

This position has always struck me as humiliating. I guess it is. It's pretty much the position peasants used to worship royalty to the extreme. Kneeled and bent over, my face flat against the surface where I am positioned, so my ass gets risen up. That is humiliating. And so arousing. My hands are cuffed behind my back. I'm on a table, my face resting on a pillow. I hear my Master talking to V___ as she prepares her camera. I don't understand very well what they are saying but I think I hear him say something about me.
"Yes," she says "lovely ass"
"And her cunt gets so wet" says my Master. "Come, take a look"
I hear V___ getting closer to me.
"Lani, spread your thighs." Orders my Master.
I shut my eyes tight, as if by doing that I could escape V___'s inspection.
"Come on, spread them" Insists my Master, tapping my inner thighs with the cane.

I obey slowly, feeling so exposed, and yet, so aroused... "See?" His fingers spread my cheeks more, as he points to my wetness. I bury my face into the pillow, feeling so humiliated, as V___ starts taking some close-ups of my exposed sex.

I don't think I have ever felt more exposed as I do at this moment, the 'click of the camera photographing my body, my Master keeping me open. I can feel the fresh air caressing my wetness, and I suddenly feel this need of being taken, of being used roughly by him. I want to feel his cock penetrating me, taking his pleasure out of me, his slave. After all, what higher honor can a slave aspire, but to be her Master's pleasure toy?

"Come, hold it here" He says, placing my hand on his cock as he stands naked in front of the toilet. I am naked too. I take his cock as he instructs me, and I aim at the toilet. He lets go, the stream of yellow liquid hitting the bowl.
"Aim lower" He says, and I try to do as told.
"Very well. Now shake it." He seems to be pleased with me, and I feel encouraged. I shake it softly.
"Now kneel and clean me with your tongue" He orders me.
I look at him. He places his hands on my shoulders, and pushes me down. I kneel automatically. He then yanks at my hair and pulls me to his cock. My lips refuse to open.

"Come on, we don't have all day." He says. And I open my mouth, sticking my tongue out. I start to lick the tip of his cock, tasting that strange taste. He pulls me hard, and I feel his cock entering my mouth, passing my lips, deep into my throat. I close my eyes, and enjoy the feeling... There are few things in this world I enjoy more than this. I suck softly, swirling my tongue around the head of it. Yes, Master. Make me suck you. Make me clean you. Please, don't let me stop.

Your slave.
Lani.