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Responding to an Ad

  • DON'T respond with a one or two line response! There's NO way you can make yourself seem interesting in a short note. If the ad isn't worth taking your time in answering, don't bother responding. DO Take your time in your letter. Respond to what the person said about his/her self and write about yourself and why you think you may be what they're looking for.
  • DON'T make unreasonable demands on them. DO keep in mind that yours isn't the only response they've received.
    --believe it or not.. when I placed an ad, I received many many responses in which the person assumed that I was now THEIR sub just because they answered, or that my first letter back to them in response to their letter should include detailed personal information about things a stranger has no business asking about.
    Needless to say.. they made it into the recycle bin without an answer.
  • DON'T give out personal information right away.. DO use an anonymous mail service or mail re-router to respond to ads if possible.
  • If you are a male or dominant, keep in mind that you want the advertiser to feel intrigued NOT scared about what type of person you are.
  • DON'T expect or demand a reply to your letter the same day or the next. DO give the advertiser a chance to receive your letter (there is often a delay in forwarding mail through the sites or through the re-mailers) and to read and reply to all the letters they receive. If you don't receive a response within a week, you can send another letter better describing yourself. -- Keep in mind.. sometimes mail is never received due to problems with servers and sites. A second letter a few days or a week later can also help seperate you from the "masses".

Starting A Dialogue

So you received a good response or a dozen to your ad... or you responded to one and have heard back:
  • Don't rush it. Take your time and get to know each other. If you are looking for a partner for a serious relationship, you'll want to know if you're compatible. You also want to get to find out each other's views on different aspects of relationships. This is the time you'll get a feel for how experienced each other is.
  • Don't give out personal information right away. It's easy to find someone's address with only a phone number, and a full name can make you easy to find. Before meeting, the Dominate should give the sub His/Her name and phone number and most of the good ones will give a sub enough personal information that they can be easily found. This information should be kept in the hands of a trusted friend when the meeting (which should be in a public place) occurs.
  • Be gracious. Most people are looking for chemistry, and if it isn't there, it isn't there. If the person you're interested in decides that you're not THE ONE, don't take it personal.
  • I must include this for personal reasons: I received many responses from Dominants with little or no experience who wanted me to teach them. I encountered bad feelings from those who felt that I or someone SHOULD give them a chance, and who were upset I wouldn't even though I specified in my ads that I was looking for someone experienced. Please Please pay attention to and respect what the person's stated needs are.
  • Again.... and most important... all through the process, BE HONEST! Even if what you lied about wouldn't have been important, the lie is!

    Also, please visit for additional information on finding out information about those you meet and a lot of great information on steps for safety

    Meeting Someone From On Line Safely This is a great article written by Polly Peachum

    Personals Page

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