caryl's Page - Resources

How Switching Could Make You
a Better Master, Mistress, Dominant, Dominatrix, Top
Sadist, Slave, Submissive, Bottom, or Masochist

Switchable Yento (Reprinted with permission)

A. Why I switch or change roles (with Dominant or Switchable Women and sub to men or women):

1.. Opportunity: If I only play with one group, I only play with 20% of community (e.g. bottoms), if I can play with everyone (see above), I can play with up to 100% of available players.
2.. Started out as Dom, began subbing to experience what my partners were feeling, liked it
3.. Allows me to be in touch with a subs fears, pleasure, or discomfort and include them in future play.
4.. Example of follow through in spanking, learned the need for more impact and follow through.

B. History of Switching in Our Community:

1.. In the old leather community, you started out learning how to serve and/or submit. Why? What are the benefits and disadvantages of starting from the bottom?
2.. Is there a need for an apprentice-based approach in our community? How do you become a union fill in the blank?

C. What can you do to learn if you want to try switching or changing roles or being more fluid?

1.. Imitate what you do with or to a partner by having it done to you.
2.. Switching with current partner(s).
3.. Switching with another partner of a different gender.
4.. Switching with another partner of the same gender.
5.. Online role-play.
6.. Phone role-play.
7.. Playing a scene in your head alone.
8.. Playing a scene in your head with a partner present.
9.. Using toys, clothes or other implements to switch roles alone or with a partner(s).
10.. Reading the other person or yourself fantasies and acting them out.
11.. Other

D. Exercises:

1.. Use a checklist to determine what you like to do to others or have done to you. A great one can be found at http://www.soulshaven.f2s.com/introduction.php3. It will also let you and your partner compare answers and notes and suggest scenes.
2.. Check off those items you like having done to you or doing to others only.
3.. Eliminate your hard limits (what you don't want to have done, ever).
4.. Act out in reverse of what you like to do or have done with a partner or in your head.
5.. Consider switching roles completely to get into that right mind space. Subs will remain clothed and doms strip or cross-dress (yes, nudity is really being exposed and stockings are uncomfortable, but that is the point.) Try to push your limits.

E. Follow up/After care:

1. Discuss how particular positions, wearing particular clothing, being clothed, or no clothing at all, or activities felt physically different than your usual role: (e.g., hands held behind back or restraining someone's hands, on your knees/standing, bend over/feeling the weight, receiving/giving a spanking or flogging, "I never knew how much nylon itched.", etc.).
2. How did you feel mentally: scared/in control, aroused, vulnerable, stronger, or weaker? Were any hidden desires stirred up?
3. Emotional feelings: memories of parents, past experiences, less/more love for a partner(s)
4. Consider every X number of play times is the opportunity to switch roles and try something new. Consider the benefits of taking a break from the routine.
5. Talk with others who have switched and share your experiences and what you learned.
6. How can you incorporate them into future play?
7. Other.